Thursday, January 11, 2007

Friends don't let Friends Knit Drunk


There it is. Proof that drinking until you are legally drunk(.08) and knitting don't mix.

I was so excited that the Paternayan yarn that I had scored on eBay arrived the afternoon that I was to drink for the good of the community(see previous post). Now I wouldn't have to work on a warshrag(no offense meant Ann and Kay). I could now work on something for me - something that only I would use.

So the Paternayan yarn arrived for the Color on Color scarf from the Scarf Style book, I ran out to get some Addi's in the size needed, (I really need to order the Options set from Knitpicks) and loaded all the needed accessories in the tote bag. I was ready.

So, I arrived at the school, took the base line breathalizer, got my 6oz. of wine(Turning Leaf Sauvignon Blanc, I really wanted the Australian but couldn't justify the higher price - the Husband was expensing this), and started to knit. I decided that even though this was going to be a scarf and size doesn't really matter, I should knit a swatch.

Well, the Paternayan comes in 3 strands and you only need to use 2 for the pattern. So I started off with a tangled mess. Once I got that under control, I began to knit.

This whole time our alcohol intake was being closely monitored by instructors, all of whom are local deputies. We were under a time crunch, because we had to be drunk by a certain time in order for the cadets to 'test' us. So this wasn't a leisurely evening sipping wine like I prefer to do. At one point I was told that if I could still knit, I wasn't drunk enough!

This burly macho deputy obviously knew nothing about knitting! Sure I was knitting, but very badly. See the little dip in the middle? I have no idea what I did. Thank goodness it was only the swatch, and that's where I quit. Even though I was there for 5 hours, only 1 1/2 hours was used for drinking/detangling/knitting.

The remainder of the time I was put through the paces. They divided the class into groups and each group was given a drunk. We, hereafter to be known as "the drunks", were deposited in chairs in a line up- I guess they were afraid we might fall- and each group was told to come up and "grab a drunk"!

We were rotated throughout several groups, because we were all at different levels of drunkeness. I was told by several groups that I was the hardest to determine whether I was drunk, because I found out later that I was just a tad under the legal limit! I try to help whenever I can..

Anyway, after having to do the "follow the pen" routine, walk a straight line for heel to toe for 9 steps-turn around and come back, and hold your foot 6" off the ground for 30 seconds while pointing your toe and counting for the 18th time, I got to go home.

I survived the next morning with only a slight headache, but my legs and toes hurt from trying like hell to keep my balance. I also did something to my right wrist while flapping my arms around trying not to fall that still hurts. But it hasn't stopped me from starting all over on the scarf! I am macho woman! I can knit through the pain, but a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc stopped me dead. I now know my knitting limits, and I have helped in the training of our next crop of wo/men in blue. It was a win/win for all.

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