Monday, December 04, 2006

The kid has a sense of humor!

My house is the habitat of 6 people, 4 of whom are 10 and under, two dogs, and a cat. Five of the six people and all of the animals are complete slobs. Only one person in this house gives a damn about the living conditions. I'll let you guess which one. It's pretty obvious.

A few mornings ago, the oldest male kidlet was eating breakfast at the kitchen table of all places(this is not their usual feeding ground) when I decided that I'd had enough of the silver poptart wrappers, the detritus of a craft project, and a box that someone had torn to pieces for reasons unknown. So I grabbed a garbage bag and started picking up.

I tend to rant as I tidy up, and this day was no exception.

"I've just figured out my purpose in life! My purpose in life is to pick up after y'all!"

Silence from the kitchen table.

"The good Lord put me on this earth to pick up after y'all. Y'all have known this all along! I'm so lucky that God has blessed me with four kind, considerate children that show me how much they love me everyday by leaving bits about the house for me to pick up, thus fulfilling my purpose. I should drop down on my knees this instant and praise the Lord! Halleluiah!"

Silence from the kitchen table.

By this time I had filled the bag, and plopped it down so I could tie it up.

"Hey, Kidlet #1, do you know what this is?"

"A bag of garbage?"

"No, it's a Bag o' Love!"

"It's a Bag of Guilt, you mean."

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